Help for Healing

Bitter & Sweet, living daily with grief

Care Calendar

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There ought to be a name for people who are elderly, but not in need of a nursing home. My dad fits right in that in-between category. He is able to live on his own, but not without some assistance. He needs more than nothing, but doesn’t need to be in full-time care.

He and I recently had a talk again about where he lives. He is in a one-bedroom apartment. He isn’t quite ready to move in with me and my family, and he doesn’t want to live in an assisted living home. Frankly, they can be a bit pricey. The next thing you know, your life savings is gone. (I mean your LIFE savings… a person’s entire work life savings.)

I asked him if it would help if his family/friends set-up a calendar so he had some things to look forward to. He thought that was  a good idea so I was glad. I was also overwhelmed though. I knew that I would have to be a lot of phone calls and also figure out a way to keep everyone informed. I felt the stress radiate through  my shoulders. Then it hit me.

Care Calendar! When Tim was sick, our friend from church was kind enough to be the administrator for our Care Calendar site. For those of you who haven’t heard of it, take note because it is an amazing site. You can find it on carecalendar.org and it is free. They encourage you to make a donation if you want, but it is free to utilize.

I spent the afternoon setting up a page for Dad. It was well worth the time investment. It is literally just what it says, a calendar. On that calendar, you can put as many “needs” as you would like. I set up meals, grocery shopping, transportation, apartment cleaning. and visiting. People (“helpers”) can then visit the site if given a code, and sign-up to take care of any of the needs listed. There is even a separate code for more sensitive/personal items that you wouldn’t want the general public to see.

When a person signs up, they give their name and email address. When it is time, they will receive a reminder email that says, “Don’t forget, you are bringing Joe Schmo dinner today.” As the coordinator, I also get an email that says, “So and so is bring Joe Schmo dinner today.” It’s an excellent system.

With the meal example, it will also show relevant information. For example, I set it up to tell people what Dad’s diet restrictions are. Currently, he is on a “mechanical soft” diet, which I define for them and also give examples of things that would be good for him to eat. The calendar can show what the person plans to bring him too so others will know and he won’t get the same type of food every day.

It really is an amazing tool and I can personally attest to the remarkable difference it made for Tim and I when he was sick. We were able to concentrate on him because our basic needs were totally cared for. I have such fond (and humbling!) memories of that part of our journey. People’s kindness was overwhelming. I am hoping that this works well for Dad too, although his needs are minimal compared to someone with a terminal illness.

Thank you to the family that started this brilliant site. And we will definitely be making a donation in the future 🙂 !

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Author: helpforhealing

Darcy Thiel, MA is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in NY State. She earned her Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology from Wheaton College in Wheaton, IL. Ms. Thiel has been a couple and family therapist in West Seneca, New York since the mid-1990’s. Ms. Thiel is currently an adjunct professor at Medaille College in Buffalo, NY. She is also an accomplished speaker and presenter on various topics throughout the Western NY area. She is the proud author of Bitter and Sweet: A Family’s Journey with Cancer, the prequel to Life After Death, on This Side of Heaven. To learn more about Ms. Thiel and other exciting books from Baby Coop Publishing, LLC, visit her website at www.babycooppublishing.com or www.darcythiel.com Copyright Help for Healing by Darcy Thiel © 2012-2016. All rights reserved.

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