Help for Healing

Bitter & Sweet, living daily with grief

Carly

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Most of you may not know that I went to a very conservative Bible college for my Bachelor’s Degree. I got an MA in International Ministries. Anyhow, I am still very much in touch with my first roommate, Carly. With cell phones, there are no longer long-distance charges so we talk several times a week. She lives in Indianapolis.

Carly home schools and also works from home when she can. For a while, she was an editor for a publishing company. That fit in great when I decided to write my books and open the publishing company. With the ease of the internet, she was able to edit both books from home, as well as the other three books the company got out. During the time that Tim was sick, she followed our blog faithfully but also sent us private emails. That meant she never actually got in the books because the entries all came from Caring Bridge. She is now a faithful follower of my blog. She joked a couple of weeks ago that maybe someday she will “make the blog.” Well, here you are Carly. A blog about you.

When I think about my relationship with her, I actually have to cringe. Not because of her, but because of me. I was well-intentioned, but nevertheless I was still a nightmare of sorts in college. I was in my genuine yet holier-than-thou phase. I truly tried to be the best Christian I could, but I remember someone on our floor saying that I talked like I had swallowed a Bible.

I played floor hockey and Carly could always tells when she got off the elevator because the whole floor would smell like Ben-Gay. I got injured more than once. One time I sprained my knee and had crutches. Another time my finger got whacked and my nail turned black. We had to drill a hole in the nail to let the blood out. But we were the champs. For those of you that know how NOT athletic I am, you would have been proud.

Moody Bible Institute- 10 N Hockey champs- Ellen, Darcy, Nancy

Moody Bible Institute- 10 N Hockey champs- Ellen, Darcy, Nancy

One of the most memorable times, was when I fell asleep on the top of the roof. We were on the tenth floor (the school was in Chicago) and it was a cloudy day. I ended up dozing off and got one of the worst sun burns I’ve ever had in my life. It was awful. Carly and the other girls on my floor took turns putting tea bags and cool cloths on my skin for hours. We had a dress code and I had to wear dresses to class. I didn’t wear a bra or underwear til I got better, which in a Bible school was of course scandalous.

One day I didn’t come home when Carly was expecting me. I remember walking in the room and her saying, “Where the hell have you been?” Now that may sound normal to you, but in a Bible college, that was even more scandalous. It was downright shocking. I remember being stunned. She said hell! My how time can change things. Here we are a couple of decades later and I’m praying more than usual. My prayer is that I don’t drop my usual F-bombs while she is here. She would love me regardless, but I don’t want to unnecessarily offend her. LOL!

I did a skit one time and was supposed to look like a punk rocker. You can only imagine the looks I got walking around that conservative campus looking like that. This is Carly and I after that lovely event.

Darcy, Janet Pollard-Carr

Darcy, Janet Pollard-Carr

Here is a real cringe moment. Back then, even though I wanted to be a missionary, I also had visions of being a counselor. I have totally forgotten this, but when Carly reminds me (as we giggle) I have to admit that it sounds exactly like something I would have said. I used to tell her on no uncertain terms that she unconsciously hated her father. I just knew she had unresolved issues with him and she needed therapy to deal with her hatred. Yikes. I shiver when I think of my audacity, and frankly my complete wrongness. Her dad is a delightful British guy with an accent that will melt your heart. She recently almost lost him but thankfully he is on the road to recovery.

Life sure has a way of changing things and humbling you. And sometimes, rare people like Carly just love you through all the phases and changes in spite of yourself. She arrived last night and we went to Applebee’s for a late night dinner. We both got the chicken pecan-crusted salads. Aren’t we well-behaved? The first thing I did was spill the entire container of dressing on the table. It was oily and messy and not easy to clean up. We had our waitress come over and clean it. I told her Carly was the one who had just driven all day but I was the one who was the clutz. She had to bring over spray to clean it so I had to hold the salad up so it didn’t get sprayed on. We laughed. And then before she could gather her things to leave, Carly spilled her entire cup of dressing on the table. Thank God our waitress had a sense of humor. We laughed so hard I’m sure we turned some heads. And of course, not a drop of alcohol passed our lips.

I can’t remember if I slipped out an F-bomb but I’m sure some curse word fell out. Carly just laughed. So glad she is here, even if briefly. Old friends, dear friends. Love you Carly!

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Author: helpforhealing

Darcy Thiel, MA is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in NY State. She earned her Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology from Wheaton College in Wheaton, IL. Ms. Thiel has been a couple and family therapist in West Seneca, New York since the mid-1990’s. Ms. Thiel is currently an adjunct professor at Medaille College in Buffalo, NY. She is also an accomplished speaker and presenter on various topics throughout the Western NY area. She is the proud author of Bitter and Sweet: A Family’s Journey with Cancer, the prequel to Life After Death, on This Side of Heaven. To learn more about Ms. Thiel and other exciting books from Baby Coop Publishing, LLC, visit her website at www.babycooppublishing.com or www.darcythiel.com Copyright Help for Healing by Darcy Thiel © 2012-2016. All rights reserved.

One thought on “Carly

  1. 💞 you both are blessed to have each other!
    Enjoy your time together and skip the salad tonight! 😉

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