Help for Healing

Bitter & Sweet, living daily with grief

Good and Bad Drunks

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You know how people are nice and friendly drunks, or they are mean drunks? Personally, I am an uber-friendly person, and when I have too much drink I get even friendlier. I tell everyone how much I love them, hug them, kiss their cheeks, etc.. On rarer occasions, I’m a sad drunk. That was what happened last time I had too much to drink. I told everybody my sad story. But I’ve never, ever been a mean drunk that I know of. If you remember something I don’t, please send me a private email to remind me…lol 🙂

Anyhow, I’ve discovered lately that there is more than one way to express mania, too. When people are manic, they can go for days without sleep and go on shopping sprees. One person I know of tried to abduct a child in a store while in a manic episode. Obviously, that wasn’t so good. I have a friend who probably has bi-polar disorder. I didn’t put it together for a long time, but once I finally did (after he mentioned he might be actually) it was so obvious to me that I couldn’t believe I hadn’t figured it out.

I had lunch with him today. I told him I thought he was being manic and he nodded his head. But I told him he’s a fun manic. How do I know?  Because he wants to go out to eat. Then he orders enough food for four people. Then he eats only half a portion, or sometimes none at all. Then we take all the food home in a box and it ends up feeding my family.

He asked me if we were going dutch this time, and I told him no. I told him I’d give him ten bucks but I wasn’t splitting the bill. Because I know better now. When he got in the car, I showed him my coupon book. He said no way, he wanted to go to the Outback Steakhouse because they have lunch specials. We got there and he tells me he is going to order for both of us, so I just sit back and watch.

No lunch specials for us. First, he orders a crock of french onion soup for each of us. Then he tells the waitress to just bring the other food and a couple of plates. Of course, you have to order steak when you are at a steakhouse. I expected that. Then he ordered shrimp. Then he threw in a lobster tail. Mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese for sides. Then he decides to add a quesadilla platter in for fun.

It was so much food it was ridiculous. We ate the lobster and shrimp and pretty much all of the rest of it came home with me and fed Colin for dinner. And it cost 70 bucks for lunch. Well, it cost him 60 with my 10 buck contribution. I suggested next time he pick out a coupon place.  We laughed about it. Being manic isn’t truly funny, but at least if you are going to be manic, he’s a nice one. And I’m stuffed.

Other “manics” aren’t always so nice. I’ve recently spent time with someone who, when manic, gets messages from God that she is asked to deliver to those around her. Might be cool except they are usually about why she thinks you are broken and screwed up. She rips you to shreds and then tells you it’s just tough love and she wouldn’t be hurting you if it weren’t for your own good and that she loves you immensely.

That isn’t so nice. And it requires a lot of mental gymnastics. You intellectually understand that a mental illness is at work so you should try not to take it personally. But the “messages” couldn’t be any more personal and go straight for your jugular. Makes it VERY hard to stick around.

So I’m getting an education about lots of things, through more than one venue in my life. I try not to have too much to drink, but if I do, I’m still going to try to be the friendly and nice type. And if I ever come down with a mental illness, I will also try my hardest to not hurt those around me. Not sure how much control you actually have, but I can hope.

Now I’m going to take a nap because I’m stuffed from lunch!

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Author: helpforhealing

Darcy Thiel, MA is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in NY State. She earned her Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology from Wheaton College in Wheaton, IL. Ms. Thiel has been a couple and family therapist in West Seneca, New York since the mid-1990’s. Ms. Thiel is currently an adjunct professor at Medaille College in Buffalo, NY. She is also an accomplished speaker and presenter on various topics throughout the Western NY area. She is the proud author of Bitter and Sweet: A Family’s Journey with Cancer, the prequel to Life After Death, on This Side of Heaven. To learn more about Ms. Thiel and other exciting books from Baby Coop Publishing, LLC, visit her website at www.babycooppublishing.com or www.darcythiel.com Copyright Help for Healing by Darcy Thiel © 2012-2016. All rights reserved.

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