Help for Healing

Bitter & Sweet, living daily with grief

More Serious Cheating

3 Comments

Ok, I’m cheating on a more serious level this week, because I didn’t even write what you are about to read. My sister’s friend is caretaking for her husband who is in the late stages of cancer. I believe they are in their 50’s. She sent me her latest journal entry because she thought it was right up my ally. She was right. She is one of my new heroes. See if you agree:

“It’s funny, this journey we are all on. It is kind of like a book that we are the star of. We are the leading character, the hero and sometimes the villain. No one knows quite where their character will take them, how the story will go and where and when or even how it will end. We do not write the story but we can change the story with choices we make along the way. Through this recent chapter of my journey, I am choosing to make changes that I have found will enhance my story.

Lately, I have learned to listen more and talk less. I am hearing more birds singing their sweet love songs to their mates that are eagerly munching on the seeds we have provided them out our dining room window. I am finding that I am engaging more in play with the little ones. They are the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and they have deemed me to be the silly one, Michaelangelo, or Mikey (as the new ones are all called shortened versions of their old formal names). This is because I never choose to do battle or injure another, that being my nature to do no harm to anyone. So I embrace my character, Mikey, and enjoy my time at the table drawing with the boys and displaying their works of art for all to admire.

I am learning to use more perfume, not to save it for special times, every day with my husband is special and he deserves to know that. I long for the day I can stand with him, hand in hand on the beach, letting each wave bring the cool ocean water over our feet and feeling the warm sand beneath our feet gently glide back out into the ocean with each returning wave. I want to spend less time on the computer and more time with people I love, not letting them feel unnoticed or unappreciated. I want each of them to have quality time and not quantity minutes that mean nothing as we did not communicate, being too busy on phones or games played all by yourself. I want to interact more with people, not things that will not love me back. There will be more treats made, just because I want to smell the aromas of things I loved and brought me special memories of times gone by and will in return, make memories for the children that they can pass down. I want to share the time with the boys, teaching them how to love the earth and respect it and all the creatures in it.

As the lyrics say, we only pass this way once, so I want to live while I am here. I have become too keenly aware of how quickly your story can change and into a new direction you will go, a new chapter you never saw coming will be where you suddenly have entered into blindly. Learn to be nicer, kinder, care more, take less, want less, open your heart and soul and let people in, and love, love with all your being. Have no regrets, no should haves, no I always wanted to, no I always thought I woulds. Breathe, really breathe, close your eyes and imagine how you can make people you love, happy. That is a gift only you can give. Love them and tell them what is in your heart, they deserve to hear it right now, they long for it. I don’t know how my story will end but I do know I have the power to change little things that will make my journey a better one. On my last day, I want to have a smile on my face and a heart so full of wonderful memories of a life well lived, and leave, knowing I am on a new journey, a whole new book.”

Wow, thanks for sharing that with us. You are an inspiration. You make us want to make better choices too. Peace and love and healing and support your way, dear friend.

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Author: helpforhealing

Darcy Thiel, MA is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in NY State. She earned her Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology from Wheaton College in Wheaton, IL. Ms. Thiel has been a couple and family therapist in West Seneca, New York since the mid-1990’s. Ms. Thiel is currently an adjunct professor at Medaille College in Buffalo, NY. She is also an accomplished speaker and presenter on various topics throughout the Western NY area. She is the proud author of Bitter and Sweet: A Family’s Journey with Cancer, the prequel to Life After Death, on This Side of Heaven. To learn more about Ms. Thiel and other exciting books from Baby Coop Publishing, LLC, visit her website at www.babycooppublishing.com or www.darcythiel.com Copyright Help for Healing by Darcy Thiel © 2012-2016. All rights reserved.

3 thoughts on “More Serious Cheating

  1. Beautifully said; we all need to appreciate life more – every day. 🙂

  2. My first thought is simple: beautiful! Then I think about all the lessons we learn through adversity and pain…IF we are open to them. Many hugs to your friend and her family! I hope you get her name on here…I did not see it.
    Thank you for sharing, Darcy, (NOT cheating, silly).

  3. I don’t know if this already posted or not; i don’t even know how to use my own blog! ha ha!
    Anyhow, i told the author that i wouldn’t use any names in the post; not sure if that was important to her or not but that is why its not mentioned….
    Glad you liked it 🙂

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