Help for Healing

Bitter & Sweet, living daily with grief


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I chose the picture of the hummingbird for a specific reason.  When we had the benefit for Tim in September of 2010, I decided to make him a DVD for a surprise.  I interviewed groups of people in his life, who told favorite stories or facts about Tim.

Tim was extremely dedicated to his work.  He felt confident and productive and useful there.  And his work loved him.  When I snuck over to his job to interview them, his boss talked about how they refer to him at work as “The Little Hummingbird”.  I thought it was a perfect description of him and the hummingbird has now become the symbol of him for our family.  We have a beautiful one at the cemetery my sister gave him.

There is plenty of information out there about hummingbirds- legends, myths, interesting facts.  I don’t get that fancy in my mind.  His boss’s description of Tim is more than sufficient.  Tim was only 5 ft 5 inches, but he had the energy of someone twice his size.  When I watch hummingbirds, they are just such an amazing thing to look at.  Their wings flutter at an amazing pace but they seem to stand still at the same time.   Tim literally ran around whenever he did anything.  He had almost a frenetic pace about him.  Busy, busy and fast, fast.  Extremely hard worker.

Tomorrow would have been our hummingbird’s 51st birthday.  Not sure what we will do to commemorate the day, but we will think of something.  It’s an odd date now, as he no longer is on this earth in flesh and blood.  We are more in tune to October 14, the day of his re-birth into another world.  A better world.  One without cancer and limitations.

But we will still recognize you tomorrow, our beloved Hummingbird.   Because we are so very, very grateful you were born on this earth and we had the opportunity to be in your life with you.  And you allowed us the sacred opportunity to be with you as you left this life.  Always love and miss you, partner!


Author: helpforhealing

Darcy Thiel, MA is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in NY State. She earned her Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology from Wheaton College in Wheaton, IL. Ms. Thiel has been a couple and family therapist in West Seneca, New York since the mid-1990’s was formerly an adjunct professor at Medaille College in Buffalo, NY. She is also an accomplished speaker and presenter on various topics throughout the Western NY area. She is the proud author of Bitter and Sweet: A Family’s Journey with Cancer, the prequel to Life After Death, on This Side of Heaven. To learn more about Ms. Thiel and other exciting books from Baby Coop Publishing, LLC, visit her website at or Copyright Help for Healing by Darcy Thiel © 2012-2018. All rights reserved.

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