Help for Healing

Bitter & Sweet, living daily with grief


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It was quite a weekend.  Saturday, I found myself acting out a pattern I have become aware of.  When a date is approaching that I think might be difficult, I usually have a few melt downs the week before.  Then on the actual day, it usually goes smoothly.  Conversely, when I don’t anticipate something being difficult, I usually get slammed on that day and shocked by my intense emotions.

I know October is hard and I knew October 14 would be tough.  So on Saturday the 13th, I had the worst of it.  I cried about a zillion times that day.  Sometimes mini-ones, sometimes full scale sobbing.  On and off all day.  I had lots of people around who took me to lunch, brought me presents, gave me hugs, held me when I needed it.  I cried anyway, but I definitely wasn’t alone.

Sunday the 14th ended up being a glorious day.  Dave (my 10 year old) had decided to go door to door and offer to rake leaves for money.  He came back with $12 and handed it to me.  He almost always gives me his money and we put it in the “hockey envelope” to help pay all the expenses that come with the sport.  He told me that this $12 was to help me pay the taxes.  I was a little confused but then remembered the tax bill was sitting out on the counter for a couple of days before I filed it.  I thanked him for being so thoughtful but told him the taxes were paid and we would put the money towards his hockey stuff.  He said “Well, if the taxes are paid, then you need to keep that money to get something for yourself.”    Just when I think he’s a hopeless punk, he goes and does something like this.  I started to cry a little and he was like “Really mom, you don’t need to cry about this.”   He’s a GREAT kid.

Later, a few friends came over for the “Rebirth-day Party”.  One of my devious and delightful friends had gotten in touch with everyone who came and they chipped in to buy a cherry tree.  Cherries were Tim’s favorite fruit.  They planted it in the back yard for us.  I shed a couple tears again, just because I was overwhelmed by how thoughtful and kind my friends are.  And because I am so damned lucky to have to many amazing people in my life.  (Now I just have to make sure I don’t kill the tree… LOL)

Quite a weekend.  More of the bitter and sweet theme, but overwhelmingly on the sweet side.


Author: helpforhealing

Darcy Thiel, MA is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in NY State. She earned her Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology from Wheaton College in Wheaton, IL. Ms. Thiel has been a couple and family therapist in West Seneca, New York since the mid-1990’s. Ms. Thiel is currently an adjunct professor at Medaille College in Buffalo, NY. She is also an accomplished speaker and presenter on various topics throughout the Western NY area. She is the proud author of Bitter and Sweet: A Family’s Journey with Cancer, the prequel to Life After Death, on This Side of Heaven. To learn more about Ms. Thiel and other exciting books from Baby Coop Publishing, LLC, visit her website at or Copyright Help for Healing by Darcy Thiel © 2012-2016. All rights reserved.

One thought on “Thankfulness

  1. I dunno whats up…Cannot send u a message…maybe b/c i have a Mac?

    Date: Thu, 18 Oct 2012 14:27:44 +0000 To:

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